Why High Standards Aren’t the Problem—But This Is
Before you push harder to reach your goals, ask yourself this—Am I raising my standards from a place of clarity and inspiration, or am I reinforcing a cycle of stress and self-doubt?
If you’ve ever felt like no matter how much you accomplish, it’s still not enough—if success feels more exhausting than fulfilling—you’re not alone.
You might have even heard people say, Maybe your standards are just too high.
But deep down, you know that’s not the issue. You don’t want to settle. You don’t want to lower the bar.
The real question isn’t whether your standards are too high. It’s whether the emotional state you’re cultivating along the way is actually helping you—or secretly working against you.
Stay with me, because once you see this, everything shifts. You’ll have a new way of approaching your goals—one that makes them feel energizing instead of draining.
Why Most People Struggle with This
Most people assume that having high standards alone is enough to create success. If you just push harder, stay disciplined, and keep raising the bar, eventually, things will fall into place.
But here’s the truth:
Your external results aren’t just shaped by your standards—they’re shaped by the emotional state you cultivate along the way.
If you’re moving toward your goals from a place of frustration, anxiety, or self-doubt, those emotions become the journey.
You tell yourself, I’ll feel fulfilled when I get there. But when you arrive, that feeling never comes. The goalpost moves. The cycle continues.
On the other hand, when you pursue growth from a place of presence, curiosity, and engagement, everything shifts. The road feels different. You still work hard—but you’re not fighting yourself the whole way there.
I had a client who was constantly moving the goalpost in their career. Every milestone they hit was followed by another, always thinking, Okay, but I still need to do more. No matter how much they achieved, they never actually experienced their success.
When they started noticing how they felt along the journey—and made adjustments there—everything changed. They didn’t lower their standards. They just stopped pushing through resistance and started pulling themselves forward through alignment.
And suddenly? Their work felt energizing instead of draining. The urgency faded. The fulfillment returned.
Are Your Standards Rooted in Growth or Perfectionism?
High standards aren’t the issue—it’s why and how you hold them.
- Perfectionism makes you feel like you can’t celebrate progress until everything is flawless. No matter what you achieve, it’s never enough.
- Avoidance keeps you raising the bar so you never have to risk failure. You tell yourself you need to be more prepared, more ready, more qualified—but deep down, the endless preparation is a way to stay in control.
- Self-sabotage makes you cling to impossible standards so you always have an excuse to stay stuck. You set the bar so high that “failure” becomes inevitable, reinforcing the belief that you’re not good enough.
Here’s a quick check-in:
Do your standards energize you, or do they drain you?
If they feel like a weight—like something you have to achieve just to feel okay—there’s a good chance they’re fueled by fear rather than vision.
The Self-Reflection Shift That Changes Everything
Ask yourself this:
- If I keep approaching my goals this way, where will I be in a year?
- Am I constantly chasing success, or am I actually experiencing growth?
- What would happen if I held my standards with curiosity instead of pressure?
The goal isn’t to lower your standards. It’s to align them with an internal state of clarity and resilience.
Because when you shift the emotional energy behind your standards, you stop making success a requirement for feeling good—and you start making feeling good part of the process.
Practical Training: Small Shifts That Make a Big Difference
For the next 24 hours, try this:
- Notice the emotional energy behind your goals. When you catch yourself striving, pause and ask, Am I pushing from frustration, or pulling from inspiration?
- Shift your focus. Instead of forcing progress, experiment with allowing it. Ask, How can I approach this with more presence and ease?
- Celebrate the process. At the end of the day, reflect: Where did I move forward with clarity? Where did I fall into old patterns of pressure?
Even a subtle shift in awareness can completely change how your journey feels.
Break the Cycle: Your Next Steps
If this resonated, I have something for you.
I created the Inner Foundation Series to help you train the emotional patterns that shape your reality. Because when you shift your internal world, everything else follows.
And if you want more insights like this, subscribe to my weekly newsletter, where I dive deeper into these shifts every week.
And let me know in the comments: What’s the biggest pattern you’ve noticed in your own journey with high standards?
Final Thoughts
The goal isn’t to settle. It’s not to stop holding yourself to a high standard.
It’s to hold those standards without holding yourself hostage to them.
You don’t have to choose between ambition and peace. You can have both.
Because success doesn’t come from struggle—it comes from alignment.
And when you shift what’s happening internally, your external reality has to change.