This Is Where Most People Quit

In this blog post, I want to explore a question we all hear at some point on the path of growth.

“Do you enjoy it?”

It sounds innocent.

It sounds curious.

Sometimes it even sounds supportive.

But for someone on a path of vision, discipline, and deep inner work…

that question can become a trap.

Because here’s the truth:

If I only did what I currently enjoyed…
I’d never become the version of myself capable of living the life I actually want.

The Question That Sounds Wise…But Isn’t

“Do you enjoy it?”

That question can be helpful, sure—if you’re trying to pick a hobby or choose a flavor of ice cream.

But when it comes to something bigger—something that asks more of you—

that question can quietly derail your entire journey.

Because it’s not always about enjoying the moment.

Sometimes it’s about learning how to meet the moment with presence and emotional capacity,

so that over time…you train yourself to enjoy it.

I’ve worked with a lot of clients who leave good jobs, solid relationships, or meaningful goals—

not because they weren’t aligned…

but because they kept measuring it against how it felt right now.

And here’s the reality:

Some things that are deeply fulfilling…

don’t feel good while you’re becoming the person who can hold them.

A woman I worked with had been building her own practice for nearly two years. She cared deeply about the mission.

But when her friend asked her, “Do you enjoy it?” she froze.

Not because the answer was no.

But because the question assumed that every meaningful thing would always feel good.

And that’s not how growth works.

Enjoyment isn't constant—it’s cultivated.

The Problem With Living by Preference

When you make “Do I enjoy it?” the litmus test for action—

you’re measuring from the wrong place.

You’re asking your current nervous system to evaluate a future identity.

You’re expecting comfort to lead you toward transformation.

And that’s just not how it works.

Growth doesn’t always feel good.

Healing doesn’t always feel inspiring.

Training—whether it’s emotional, physical, or relational—requires repetition, discomfort, and deliberate practice.

Enjoyment isn’t a precondition for greatness.

It’s a byproduct of emotional alignment.

If you only follow what you currently enjoy…

you’ll keep circling your current emotional ceiling.

Here’s a softer way to say it:

If you only follow what you enjoy right now,

you’re outsourcing your future to the limitations of your past.

You’re allowing your current comfort zone to dictate your potential.

And the nervous system?

It doesn’t evolve unless it’s trained to do so.

Vision Requires a Different Question

Instead of asking “Do I enjoy it?”

Try asking: Am I aligned with a deeper vision?

That question hits differently.

It invites you to consider your trajectory, not just your state.

Because there’s a difference between chasing ease…

and training inner fulfillment.

When I work with someone who’s committed to actualizing a vision—

we don’t start by asking if it feels good right now.

We start by asking: What kind of person do I need to become to live that life?

And then we train the internal state—

so that showing up for the hard parts becomes not just tolerable…

but meaningful.

Not because every moment is pleasant.

But because every moment is on purpose.

That’s the shift.

You don’t wait to enjoy it.

You bring intention to the process—

so your nervous system learns to experience joy…

in service of your vision.

But What If It’s Really Draining?

Let’s pause here—because this is where most people quietly push back.

They say: “But if I’m always drained…shouldn’t I take that as a sign?”

Yes.

And also—no.

Because being drained doesn’t always mean something is misaligned.

Sometimes it just means you haven’t trained capacity for it yet.

One client came to me completely exhausted by parenting.

They loved their children more than anything.

But every interaction left them wiped out.

They assumed it meant something was wrong.

But what was really happening?

They were using anxiety as their main fuel source.

They hadn’t trained calm.

They hadn’t trained presence.

They hadn’t trained emotional recovery in the moment.

So yes—it felt draining.

But not because the children were a problem.

Because their inner system was underdeveloped.

And once we trained that?

The same tasks…started to feel different.

Still demanding. Still real. But no longer emotionally depleting.

This is why “Do I enjoy it?” can be misleading.

Sometimes what you’re feeling… is just a reflection of your current capacity.

Not a signal to quit.

You Can Train the State

Let’s make this practical.

Say someone’s building something that matters to them. A relationship. A business. A body of work.

They’re not going to enjoy every email.

Every workout.

Every uncomfortable conversation.

And if they’re using “Do I like this?” as their compass…

they’re going to stop.

Or sabotage.

Or second-guess what’s actually aligned.

But if they’re training emotional presence—

then even the hard parts become rich with purpose.

Even the ordinary moments start to hold meaning.

Because now, the state isn’t dictated by circumstances.

It’s generated on purpose.

That’s not about pretending.

It’s not about toxic positivity.

It’s about recognizing that emotions—like any skill—are trainable.

You train peace.

You train joy.

You train resilience.

So that when life isn’t enjoyable…

you’re still able to meet it with clarity.

One client working toward a deeply personal creative project told me,

“I thought I’d be more excited by now.”

So we trained excitement.

Not in a fake, “pump yourself up” kind of way…

But in a grounded, nervous system level way.

They practiced pairing focus with lightness.

They learned to breathe into joy before the outcome.

And that rewired how they related to the project—without changing a single task.

The actions didn’t shift.

The experience of doing them did.

What Are You Actually Asking?

Here’s a reframe you can play with:

When someone asks, “Do you enjoy it?”

They’re usually trying to ask, “Is this worth it to you?”

But those are two very different things.

Because something can be deeply worth it…

without always being enjoyable.

You can honor a long-term vision,

while still navigating short-term friction.

You can feel challenged, stretched, uncomfortable—

and still know you’re in the right place.

This is what training gives you.

The ability to hold the tension of becoming…

without collapsing back into comfort.

An Invitation

So let’s pause here.

If you slowed down right now…

Is there anything in your life you’ve been questioning—

not because it’s wrong for you…

but because it isn’t always comfortable?

What might shift if you stopped asking, “Do I enjoy this?”

and started asking, “Am I becoming someone I respect in this?”

Can you feel the difference?

One question keeps you seeking relief.

The other invites responsibility.

If you’re ready to train your inner world with the same structure and clarity you bring to everything else…

I’ve built a system for that.

It integrates thought, emotion, and nervous system—

so you don’t just analyze your patterns…

you actually shift them.

And if you’re on Instagram,

I share grounded insights and practices throughout the week over at @mikewangcoaching.

You can also join the weekly newsletter—

I send out tools, frameworks, and reflections to help you live this work, not just think about it.