The Recipe for Transformation

You know, after years of working with people—students, clients—who are trying to make real, lasting change, I’ve noticed a pattern. There’s this kind of recipe for transformation that keeps showing up, no matter who you are or what you’re working on.

It’s not some fancy theory or complicated process. It’s just the stuff that actually works in real life.

Today, I want to share that with you. Think of it like a warm conversation about what I’ve seen help people get unstuck, grow, and really become the version of themselves they’ve always wanted to be.

1 - Stopping What’s Holding You Back

Alright, so here’s the thing—most of us think change starts with adding something new. Like a new habit, a new goal, a new plan. But in my experience, real transformation usually starts by pressing pause on the stuff that’s been tripping us up.

I’ve seen this with so many people. Like one client who kept finding herself exhausted and resentful at the end of every day. Turns out, she couldn’t say no to anyone. She was always overcommitting, trying to be everything for everyone. And all that people-pleasing? It was keeping her stuck.

Stopping isn’t about beating yourself up. It’s about seeing the pattern and deciding, “Hey, I don’t want to keep doing this anymore.” Even if you don’t know what to do instead, just the willingness to hit the brakes—that’s huge.

So think about it: What’s one thing you’ve been doing that’s not working for you anymore? Just noticing it is a step toward change.

2 - Starting Something New

Here’s what I’ve learned—once you’ve stopped the stuff that’s holding you back, you’ve got to fill that space with something better.

One client of mine used to drown in self-doubt—always second-guessing, hesitating, analyzing. It was like a hamster wheel of overthinking. When she decided to start small acts of self-trust—like making a decision and sticking to it—everything shifted. It wasn’t about getting it right every time; it was about practicing a different way of being.

Starting new doesn’t have to be a grand, dramatic move. Most times, it’s just picking one small thing that aligns with the person you’re becoming.

So ask yourself: Where can you plant a seed of change? Maybe it’s saying no when you’d usually say yes. Maybe it’s taking a breath before you react. It’s those small choices that add up.

3 - Facing Fear

Let’s talk about fear for a second—because it’s always there.

Fear is that voice in your head that says, “Are you sure you want to do this? What if you fail? What if people judge you?” It’s like that little gremlin that pops up just when you’re about to step into something new.

Every single client I’ve ever worked with has met that fear at some point. And here’s the truth: Fear doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path. It usually means you’re right where you need to be.

I always tell people: if fear’s showing up, it means you’re about to do something different. Something your nervous system hasn’t practiced yet. And that’s actually a good thing.

You don’t have to make fear disappear. Just feel it—notice the tightness, the sweaty palms, the shallow breath—and keep moving. That’s how you build the capacity to change.

4 - Holding the Vision

And here’s the piece that ties it all together—having a vision of where you’re headed.

I’m not talking about some Pinterest board of dream vacations and fancy cars. I mean the real you that you’re becoming. The one who feels more alive, more connected, more at peace.

One student of mine had spent so long focusing on what she didn’t want—like feeling anxious or getting stuck in old patterns—that she’d forgotten to ask herself what she did want.

When she finally painted that picture—feeling calm, showing up with confidence, having honest conversations—it was like a lightbulb went off. Even on the days when fear showed up or old habits tried to creep back in, that vision kept her steady.

So take a minute. Ask yourself: What does the you you’re becoming actually look like? How does that person move through the world? How do they talk to themselves on the tough days?

That vision is what helps you navigate the messy, human parts of change.

5 - Keep What’s Working

Here’s something I think a lot of people forget: change isn’t just about stopping what’s not working or adding something new. It’s also about noticing what’s already serving you—and making sure you keep that in the mix.

Maybe you’ve got a morning practice that grounds you. Or you’re already pretty good at listening to your body. Or you’ve built a habit of reaching out to a friend when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Those things are gold. They’re part of the foundation that supports you as you grow.

So give yourself some credit. Keep doing what’s helping you feel strong, balanced, or even just a little bit more yourself. Those small anchors matter.

Bringing It All Together

So, here’s what I’ve seen—transformation isn’t some magic moment. It’s a practice. A way of living.

It’s about noticing what’s not serving you anymore and letting it go, even if it’s just one tiny habit at a time. It’s about choosing something new that aligns with the person you’re growing into. It’s about feeling fear—and not letting it hold you back. It’s about holding that vision of who you’re becoming so you don’t get lost in the noise. And it’s about continuing to do what’s already working for you—those small but mighty habits that help you feel grounded and strong.

If you slowed down right now… what’s the emotional signal you’ve been ignoring? Is it fear? Doubt? Maybe it’s a deep desire for change that you’ve been too busy to feel.

Notice that. Just notice it. That’s the start of transformation.

An Invitation

And if you’re ready to start training your inner world with the same clarity and structure you bring to everything else, I’ve built a system for that. It helps you integrate your thoughts, emotions, and nervous system—so you don’t just understand your patterns, you actually shift them.

If you’re on Instagram, I share more insights and practices a few times a week at @mikewangcoaching. I’d love to connect with you there.

You can also join the weekly newsletter below—it’s where I share more personal stories, tools, and reflections to help you apply this work in real life.