Most People Quit Here

Alright, let’s talk about something that shows up everywhere. I see this with careers. I see it with relationships. I see it with health.

I see it with personal growth. People start things… and then they leave when it gets uncomfortable.

And most of the time, they don’t leave because something is wrong. They leave because the internal experience got hard to be with.

Now, when we say “hard,” most people think pain. But that’s actually not the biggest issue.

The biggest issue is emotional intensity. And intensity includes things like boredom. Flatness. Restlessness. The absence of excitement.

That’s where most people tap out.

Here’s what’s important to understand. This isn’t a character flaw. It’s not weakness. It’s not a lack of desire.

It’s a lack of training. Most people were never taught how to stay regulated inside themselves when their internal state isn’t pleasant.

So when discomfort shows up, they change the environment. They change the job. They change the relationship.

They change the routine. They change the goal.

Not because the thing is wrong— but because their nervous system is driving the decision.

Now, let’s talk about something that gets misunderstood a lot. You’ll often hear people say, “I’m just going with the flow.”

“I’m listening to life.” “I don’t want to force anything.”

And look—true flow does exist. But what most people call flow is actually something else.

It’s life being designed on their behalf. When there is no clear vision, when there is no internal anchor, whatever emotion shows up becomes the decision-maker.

That’s not freedom. That’s reactivity.

This is also where the idea of resilience gets confused. A lot of people think resilience means pushing through. Grinding. Enduring. Surviving.

And yes—people can survive a lot. But survival is not mastery.

If you only go to the gym when you feel motivated, if you only stay in a relationship when it feels good, if you only stay committed when things are stimulating—

then your behavior is still being controlled by circumstances. That’s not resilience. That’s external regulation.

Real resilience is something very different. It’s quiet. It’s stable. It’s not dramatic.

Real resilience is the ability to stay internally grounded while conditions change. To stay present in a conversation when it’s uncomfortable.

To continue training when it’s boring. To stay aligned with your vision when nothing is rewarding you yet.

That’s not willpower. That’s emotional regulation. And emotional regulation is a skill.

Here’s the key point I want you to hear. Most people don’t lack discipline. They don’t lack commitment. They don’t lack desire.

They lack the capacity to stay with neutral or uncomfortable internal states. Nobody taught them how.

So when discomfort shows up, leaving feels like self-care. Starting over feels like alignment. Relief feels like truth.

But relief is not always wisdom.

This is why vision matters so much. Vision is not about forcing outcomes. Vision is context.

When you have a clear vision, discomfort has a container. Boredom has meaning. Intensity has a place to land.

Without vision, every uncomfortable feeling feels like a signal to stop. With vision, that same feeling becomes part of the process.

And I want to be very clear about this. This is not about pushing harder. This is not about ignoring emotions. This is not about becoming rigid.

It’s about learning how to stay present with yourself regardless of what’s happening internally.

That’s mastery. And mastery is trained.

If you find yourself starting and stopping… If you notice patterns of leaving when things get flat or uncomfortable… If motivation dictates your consistency…

There’s nothing wrong with you. You just haven’t been taught how to regulate your inner world yet.

And once you learn that skill, everything changes.

Because life stops happening to you— and you start choosing how you show up.

That’s real resilience. And that’s what we train.