Understanding Isn’t the Same as Training

There’s something I want to name, because I see it all the time.

A lot of coaching in the coaching industry today is really focused on comfort.
Or insight.
Or feeling better for a moment.

And listen — insight is important.
Awareness matters.
Understanding matters.

But insight by itself does not create change.

What I see happening is people consuming a lot of content.
They’re watching videos.
They’re listening to podcasts.
They’re journaling.
They’re reflecting.

And because of that, they feel like they’ve grown.

But feeling like you’ve grown and actually changing are not the same thing.

Here’s the hard truth.

Insight is only one small part of the process.

Once you see something, once you understand something, something else has to happen.

Your body has to change.
Your nervous system has to change.
Your emotional reactions have to change.
Your thought patterns have to change.

And that doesn’t happen just because you understand why you do what you do.

You can fully understand your patterns…
and still repeat them tomorrow.

Why?

Because conditioning doesn’t live in the mind.
It lives in the body.
It lives in the nervous system.

And the nervous system does not change through information.

It changes through experience.

If you want real transformation, you have to have a direct experience of something different.

You have to feel yourself respond differently.
Hold yourself differently.
Breathe differently.
Think differently — in real time.

And not just once.

That experience has to be repeated.
Over and over.
Consistently.

That’s how retraining happens.

That’s how the nervous system learns,
“Oh… this is safe now.”
“This is available now.”
“This is who I am now.”

Without that repetition, nothing actually rewires.

And this is where a lot of coaching — and even therapy — falls short.

There’s a heavy focus on insight.
On talking about it.
On soothing the experience.
On understanding the story.

But not enough focus on the actual retraining.

And that retraining isn’t 50% of the work.

It’s more like 90%.

Training the body.
Training the emotional response.
Training the nervous system to operate differently under pressure.

Without that, people just get really good at understanding themselves…
while staying exactly the same.

Real growth isn’t a realization.

It’s a practice.

It’s learning how to create a different internal experience on purpose —
and then doing it again…
and again…
and again.

That’s not always comfortable.
It’s not always soothing.

But it’s real.

Insight opens the door.
Experience walks you through it.
Training is what actually keeps you there.

That’s the difference between consuming growth
and actually becoming someone new.