Why We Attract Certain People


Have you ever noticed how spending time with certain people can either lift your spirits or drain your energy? Imagine starting your day feeling great, but then encountering someone who is constantly complaining or angry. It's likely that their negativity will start to affect your mood as well. Conversely, if you’re feeling down and spend time with someone who is cheerful and optimistic, their positivity can help improve your mood.

This phenomenon is due to resonance. Our emotional states tend to sync up with the emotional states of those around us. This is why people who share similar emotional patterns and outlooks on life often find themselves gravitating towards one another. If we consistently hold onto a strong emotional pattern, like anger, we'll find ourselves resonating with others who feel the same way. It becomes challenging to connect deeply with those who are in a vastly different emotional state, like joy or peace.


Let's use the example of a workplace setting. Imagine two colleagues: one is always stressed and anxious about deadlines, while the other approaches their tasks with calm and positivity. The stressed colleague might find it difficult to connect with the positive one because their emotional states are so different. On the other hand, they might find a lot of common ground with someone else who is also stressed and anxious. This shared emotional pattern creates a sense of understanding and resonance.

The principle of resonance explains why, when we shift our emotional state from negative to positive, our surroundings start to change as well. Imagine you've been dealing with frustration and negativity, but decide to focus on cultivating more joy and gratitude in your life. Over time, you'll notice that your interactions start to improve. Those who were in sync with your old patterns of frustration may either change their approach or drift away, while new, more positive connections begin to form.


A practical example of this can be seen in relationships. If you decide to embrace a more positive and supportive attitude, you might find that partners who are negative or unsupportive either start to pull away or begin to adopt a more positive outlook themselves. With consistent effort, your relationships can evolve, reflecting your new emotional state and becoming more encouraging and uplifting.

Scientific research supports this concept. Studies in psychology have shown that our emotions can influence those around us. Positive emotions are not only beneficial for our own mental and physical health but also have a ripple effect on our social environment. When we are in a positive emotional state, we are more likely to experience better relationships, improved health, and greater overall well-being.

Developing Positive Emotional States

Changing your emotional state is much like developing a new skill. It requires practice and patience. Initially, shifting from negative emotions to positive ones might feel forced or unnatural. However, with time and persistence, these positive emotions become more natural and your default state of being. Just like learning to play an instrument, the more you practice, the more proficient you become, and soon it starts to feel effortless.

When you choose to focus on positive emotions like joy, gratitude, and peace, you are not just improving your internal state; you are also transforming your external environment. People who previously resonated with your negative emotions may find it challenging to connect with you now. However, this opens up space for new, positive relationships to develop. It's a dynamic process of growth and alignment.


Actively Shaping Your Reality

Understanding and applying the concept of resonance allows us to actively shape our reality. We move from being passive recipients of external circumstances to active creators of our experiences. This transformation is both profound and empowering, leading to a more fulfilling and connected life.

If you’re interested in exploring this journey of transformation further, the Inner Foundation Series can be an invaluable resource. This series provides structured guidance to help you align your internal landscape with the outcomes you desire. Courses like “The Art of Conscious Action” teach techniques to shift your emotional states and make decisions that reflect your highest aspirations. Whether your goal is to enhance your relationships, career, or overall wellbeing, this series equips you with the tools to create the life you truly want.