Why Self-Care Isn't Selfish: What True Self-Care Really Means


Have you ever had one of those days where it feels like everything is just too much? You’re running from one thing to the next, juggling a million tasks, and by the end of the day, you’re completely drained. What if I told you that the key to feeling better and living a more balanced life lies in something deceptively simple: self-care?

Self-care is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days, but what does it really mean? Some people think self-care is all about indulging in bubble baths, spa days, or treating yourself to a new outfit. While those can be aspects of self-care, they only scratch the surface.

One of the biggest misconceptions about self-care is that it’s a luxury — something you only get to do if you have extra time and money. But true self-care isn’t about extravagant pampering; it’s about consistently nurturing yourself in ways that support your overall well-being. It costs nothing except your attention.

Another misconception is that self-care is selfish. Many people, especially those who are caregivers or have demanding jobs, feel guilty about taking time for themselves. But self-care is essential, not just for your own health, but for the well-being of those around you. When you’re depleted, you can’t show up fully for others.

True self-care goes deeper than the occasional treat. It involves taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health on a daily basis. It’s about setting boundaries, saying no when you need to, and making time for activities that recharge and rejuvenate you.

Imagine self-care as tending to a garden. You don’t just water the plants once in a while and expect them to thrive. You need to consistently give them the right amount of water, sunlight, and nutrients. The same goes for yourself. Consistent, small acts of self-care can create a sustainable practice that helps you flourish. Consistency is key.


So, why is self-care so important? Because it’s the foundation upon which everything else is built. When you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to handle the ups and downs of life. You can navigate challenges with more resilience and less stress. Without proper self-care, you can quickly burn out, leading to a state where you’re unable to create any momentum in your life.

Think about those times when you’ve felt utterly overwhelmed and stuck, unable to make progress on your goals. Often, this is a result of neglecting self-care. When your tank is empty, it’s hard to get moving again. But when you prioritize self-care, you’re filling your tank, ensuring you have the energy and mental clarity to keep moving forward.

Life is full of natural rhythms — times of high energy and achievement, followed by periods of rest and reflection. True self-care acknowledges this natural rhythm and encourages you to honor it. It’s about knowing when to take action and when to rest. Even creating space in your life to rest must come from a place of conscious action. When you embrace this flow, you can harness your energy more effectively and avoid the burnout that comes from constantly pushing yourself without pause.


One key aspect of self-care is that it helps you build and maintain momentum in your life. By regularly engaging in activities that recharge you, you create a steady stream of energy and motivation. This momentum is crucial for achieving your long-term goals. It’s like keeping a car’s engine in good condition; regular maintenance prevents breakdowns and ensures smooth running. Similarly, momentum is needed to actually move the needle on long-term goals.

If you’re looking to dive deeper into understanding and implementing true self-care, the Inner Foundation Series offers a comprehensive approach. This contemplative training program is designed to help you align your inner landscape — your thoughts, emotions, and nervous system — with the outcomes you want to create in your life. The series includes the tools and strategies to cultivate self-care practices that support your overall well-being.

Big picture wise, self-care is not just about indulgence; it’s a crucial practice for maintaining your overall health and well-being. By understanding and embracing true self-care, you can navigate life’s ups and downs with greater ease, build momentum towards your goals, and ultimately create a more fulfilling life. The Inner Foundation Series can help guide you on this journey, offering insights and practices to help you cultivate a balanced, healthy, and vibrant life.