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What if the answer isn’t more healing?
In this blog post, I want to talk about something I see a lot—especially in people who are deeply committed to growth.
You’ve done therapy. You’ve journaled. You’ve sat with the hard stuff. You’ve read the books and taken the courses.
And still…something feels stuck.
You keep running into the same internal wall—same trigger, same spiral, same pattern.
And if you’re like a lot of people I work with, you might be wondering:
“Do I really have to go all the way back?
Do I have to keep di…
You’re Not Burned Out—Your System’s Just Trained for Survival
You wake up, already tired.
The day hasn't even started, and part of you is counting the hours until it's over.
You're still doing your job. Still showing up. From the outside, nothing’s wrong. But something feels…off.
You’re not falling apart. But you’re also not bouncing back.
So if you do what we’ve all learned to do:
You google the symptoms. You call it “burnout.”
And that feels true…but also not quite.
Because some days, you do have energy. You even enjoy parts of your life.…
“I got what I wanted…so why don’t I feel better?”
Most of us fall into this trap without realizing it:
We think peace is what happens after everything lines up.
After the job offer. After the argument resolves. After the to-do list is done. After we fix the thing that’s currently bothering us.
But what if peace actually has nothing to do with things being “fixed”?
What if peace is a way of seeing—not a reward for getting life perfect?
I’ve seen this over and over with clients who are extremely capable. Driven. Organized. They buil…
How to Recognize Emotional Avoidance Disguised as Critique
You ever hear a new idea or watch someone do something bold—and instantly, your brain jumps in with: “That won’t work.” “They’ve got it easier than I do.” “They’re just naturally confident.” “I’m not like that.”
Or maybe it’s subtler. You start a course, sit in a workshop, or watch someone speak with clarity and heart. And something stirs in you—something real. But before you even realize what’s happening, the critique kicks in. “It’s too basic.” “Too intense.” “Not scientific enough.” “Too…
Beyond the 5 Love Languages
"Do you use the 5 Love Languages in your coaching?"
I get this question pretty often.
And if you’ve ever tried to “speak” someone’s love language but still felt distant…or even frustrated, you know why this comes up.
You did everything right. You gave the words, the time, the touch, the gifts.
And yet... something was still missing.
That’s because love languages explain how we prefer to give and receive love — but they don’t explain why those preferences exist, or what’s really running u…
You Can Be Strong on the Outside and Still Avoid This
Have you ever thought about what courage really means?
Not the movie version. Not just standing up to a bully or jumping into a fight.
But the kind of courage that isn’t loud or flashy.
The kind that happens quietly, in the background of your life — when no one’s watching.
A Symbol That Changed Meaning
In my studio, there’s a painting hanging on the wall.
It’s the Chinese characters for “Courage” — 勇氣.
It was a gift from a friend many years ago. And over time, it’s come to mea…
Are You Getting Intensity Wrong?
You ever have this kind of day?
You wake up and tell yourself, "Today, I’m going to handle things better."
Maybe yesterday you snapped at your partner, procrastinated until late at night, or spiraled into self-judgment again.
You meant it when you said you’d do better.
And for a little while… you do.
But then...
- Your partner makes a small comment.
- A coworker sends a snarky email.
- Or you just get overwhelmed by everything on your plate.
Before you know it, the pattern returns.
…They Broke Up With You — Here’s How to Handle It Without Losing Yourself
Have you ever sat in the aftermath of a breakup and felt completely unsteady?
Maybe it hit you like this. One moment, you were planning next weekend together. The next, you're staring at your phone, reading the words, "I just don’t think this is right for me."
And suddenly, everything goes still.
You check the text again. And again. You replay every conversation from the last few weeks. You quietly ask yourself, "What did I miss?"
Or maybe it happened differently. They didn’t even exp…
What Is Authenticity, Really?
Have you ever caught yourself thinking…
"I just want to be more authentic."
Or maybe you've said something like…
"I don't even know who I really am anymore."
That phrase—“be authentic”—gets tossed around a lot these days.
But let’s be honest... in the moments that really test us—the tough conversations, the awkward social settings, the big decisions—authenticity often feels vague and slippery.
Is it speaking your mind no matter what? Is it acting on impulse? Is it about being raw and u…
Signs You're Confusing Acquaintances for Real Friends
Let’s be honest—how many people in your life do you call “friend”... just because it would feel awkward to say anything else?
They’ve been around forever.
You’ve shared memories. You know their habits. You might even talk weekly.
But when the interaction’s over… something feels off.
You don’t feel energized. You don’t feel more yourself.
You feel tired. Or unseen. Or just… flat.
And yet, we keep them close.
Not because the connection still serves us—but because it used to.
Here’s …